just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
