Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize