i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
