my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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