we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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