Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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