i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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