I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
