Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
