I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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