Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
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he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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