This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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