Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
