I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you never un-have a 4some
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
