I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
