who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
