he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
