She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
