is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
