Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Duck Duck Cougar?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
