shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Houston, we have a blender
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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