through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
bring money and cleavage
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
whose ass print is on the piano?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
