So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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