I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
