So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
