Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
