I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
