just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize