Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Let's get the cat blown out
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
