My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I lost the right to judge tonight
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
