I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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