And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
