You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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