he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
