I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
