i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
