if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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