I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
