I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
