I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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