Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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