Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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