Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
