Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
