How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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