I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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