u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
