The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
