All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
