how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize