You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
