it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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