Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Randomize
